2021.11.28 22:44 j466y Favourite scene ever
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2021.11.28 22:44 ShaunJohnsonsJohnson PUMA unveils new Vodafone Warriors home jersey
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2021.11.28 22:44 saiseijoy Happy Hanukkah from a first-timer, who was unsure how candles melt
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2021.11.28 22:44 svanapps The Pyramid of Power: Season 2
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2021.11.28 22:44 djnatec 9th RIVAL, 4th ELITE
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2021.11.28 22:44 charStackening First time puppy owner
2021.11.28 22:44 Jawsurgery8913 Its painful
Tl;dr lots of rejection by peer relationships
I dont know whats wrong with me. I'm going to go on a ramble because I've been holding onto this shame for a very long time. I just need to get it out. It's all over the place and probably doesn't make sense.
I've always been a shy, quiet kid that took a while to warm up but i still made friends.
After my young teens and throughout my life I've been rejected a lot by long time friends. Its painful because these people are ones that have known me on an authentic level and they have stopped talking to me. Theyre the people that I've opened up to and had real relationships with.
In grade 5 I had a huge group of girlfriends.I spend all day with them and we had sleep overs so we were close. One day they told me they didn't want to be my friends. After they abounded me I would follow them around like a lost puppy. I dont know why I did but I looked like an idiot. They would whisper and laugh about it. I was alone and had no friends.
I moved to a new place. Made a close girlfriend. We were together all the time and then she moved. I would walk around the mall alone trying to kill time. I attached onto her and didn't know how to hang out with people outside of class so I was alone.
I ended up dying my hair bleach blonde, wearing a lot of make up, was very skinny and dressed in revealing clothing. Im ugly but my body and blonde hair got me attention. Men liked me and wanted to be with me. It felt good being validated.
I moved again and made a few girlfriends. I was really close to two of them. I felt comfortable with them and was outgoing. One of them stopped hanging out with me and the other girl. Never gave us a reason just moved schools and went from talking to us every day to not saying anything.
I moved again and didn't bother making friends. I just jumped from relationship to relationship. Every guy I was with had a group of friends. I was just weird and quiet when other people were around. But I dressed slutty and had blonde hair.
I ended up moving to college and made a couple of friends (one girl the rest guys) We moved in together. Over the years the guys dropped out of school. Me and my girlfriend stuck and lived with each other and random roommates until one year she told me she was going to move in with someone else. I didn't ask why and just played it off like it was cool and liked the house that we were living in. I ended up living with a bunch of people, but they were new roommates and I wasn't friends with them. My old roommate would still ask me to come out once in a blue moon. I got all depressed and anxious and she stopped calling me after a while.
Since then I've been dating different guys and never having any girlfriends. I jump from relationship to relationship and I've gotten really bad social anxiety.
I've been hiding in my house for a few years going through waves of extreme agrophobia and social anxiety and depression. I get into really intense romantic relationships where I end up getting bored of a guy and move onto the next one. Men don't break up with me, I end it with them which is weird because other close relationship thay I've had its been others leaving me. This happened for a few years until I met my husband.
I had a lot of trauma throughout the years that also makes me scared of people. I've become a weirdo. I can talk in "intellectual" situations but as soon as it comes down to saying something about me I shut down. I've been rejected too much by close friends and am scared to be myself.
Im in my 30s and am rejected by strangers now too because of all that baggage/low self esteem/social anxiety. This wasn't a problem growing up. I could make friends but somehow I ended up alone after a while and couldn't make friends until I re-invited myself after moving.
Now Im scared. Im also fat so I've gone back to being ugly without my body to get male attention. Im old and don't want it, but that gave me "value" years ago. Now that's gone.
I observe how others make friendships and get jealous because it comes so easy to others. I disassociate when I'm in group settings. I got rejected from a bunch of job interviews because of my self esteem. Im so awkward then when I was doing two separate internships one of them tried to get me fired because "I wasn't doing stuff" (I was) and the other would just leave me in the office and not take me out with her to teach her stuff. I was very quiet and didn't have a lot to say but I dont think that makes me that bad or a person.
I know my self esteem, negative attitude and lack of ability to socialize is my problem now. I just wish I knew what kept happening all those years to make peers who were close to me leave me.
Why am I like this? Why did women be friend me then rejected throughout the years? I dont even know who I am anymore. I hate myself to my core. I carry a lot of shame and disgust at myself.
Its hard to undo the rejection from close friends and strangers.
Tl;dr I have close peer friendships with females and they end up leaving me. I've spent period alone. The social rejection and isolation have screwed me up.
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2021.11.28 22:44 thunderkittytaco The protector
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2021.11.28 22:44 Abdulllah_ anyone want to jerk lets snap: gucci_1121
2021.11.28 22:44 Thisisaghosttown Did Japanese civilians in WWII face persecution if they spoke out against the Japanese government?
Were Japanese civilians in WWII imprisoned, executed, etc. if they spoke out against the government the same way Soviet or German citizens were if they spoke out against their government?
Did Japan have a domestic secret police like the Gestapo or KGB? What was life like for the average Japanese citizen at the time?
Did the Japanese have to watch what they said and what kind of activity they participated in or else face the punishment?
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2021.11.28 22:44 Bigtres24 shining Metaverse, virtual people will be mature. WIMI Hologram Cloud's AI Vision Aiming at the 100 Billion Market and Lidar Has 'New Force'
2021.11.28 22:44 iitsric0 DORAEMON INU‼️
2021.11.28 22:44 Exotic-Newspaper-503 Is my Yakuza 5 bugged (No fights as Kiryu)?
Alright, so completed Yakuza 5 yesterday, decided to do some premium adventure because I want to get all my characters to level 20 for trophy. I decided to run around both Kamurocho and Nagasugai with Kiryu, but no battles happened. After a break I changed to Shinada, got a lot of fights, so I thought "huh, guess the game isn't bugged". Changed back to Kiryu, even got drunk, no hostile NPCs anywhere. Can't even access the coliseum because I haven't done the victory road stuff, even they don't spawn in Nagasugai. So what's up, is my game broken? Playing on PS5, if that matters.
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2021.11.28 22:44 Cloakbot Found a bug, context in comment
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2021.11.28 22:44 NoWeebNoLife My dad left a roll of bubble wrap in our living room. hehe
2021.11.28 22:44 petrzapletal This week in #Scala (Nov 29, 2021)
2021.11.28 22:44 Patrick-NS But Fed is definitely evil right??
2021.11.28 22:44 EclecticSnoopy [WTS] Omega Speedmaster Grey Side of the Moon 44.25MM Watch Lunar Dust – Box & Papers – 318.104.22.168.99.001
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2021.11.28 22:44 Niheru My step MIL is so disgustingly selfish.
She refuses to engage her grandchildren on any level. Says she couldn’t possibly handle them for any length of time. She wants to travel with my husband and I but no kids allowed. “I don’t do kids.” That’s fine to not like kids...but she posts all over FB how much she loves and misses them, posts photos and videos she’s taken. All for the likes from her church friends.
She tries to feel the racism of BIPOC. Had a lot to say about a new FB/Meta commercial claiming it’s racist. She’s white.
Fox News has her programmed to believe that her "way of life" is under siege and that she risks becoming victims at every turn. It is a beautiful brainwashing tactic: keep people in a constant state of stress (CRT, cancel culture, vaccine mandates, etc) and it doesn't take much to provoke her to anger or fear.
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2021.11.28 22:44 mechanic38 Building this for a customer. I’m just a basement shop guy. Not done yet.
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2021.11.28 22:44 Bigpensfan7 Lindros Jersey For Sale!!!!!!!
2021.11.28 22:44 croatianpr33 sub4sub
2021.11.28 22:44 mirageingarage 22/GMT+9/PC Looking for people to play with
I've been wanting to get back into gaming for a while but idk anyone around me who does and I can't play with people I used to play with either so I'm just looking for new people to play with.
I'm down to play whatever so just hit me up I guess
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2021.11.28 22:44 arbiewebbjr Olivia Newton-John - A Little More Love
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2021.11.28 22:44 viictxxr Http Post request with url encoded content type
Hey guys, I’ve been having issues sending a post request to an endpoint that requires an application/x-www-form-urlencoded data and content type. Do you guys have any experience/expertise when it come to this. Any sort of help would be appreciated. I even also asked the question on stack overflow but haven’t received much input on there yet. More details here: https://stackoverflow.com/questions/70138143/http-post-request-with-encoded-header-and-body-with-flutter-dart?noredirect=1#comment123984136_70138143
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