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I think im getting attached to my ex's former best friend. Ex means nothing to me now, but they are still roommates

2021.11.28 22:49 New-Avocado5881 I think im getting attached to my ex's former best friend. Ex means nothing to me now, but they are still roommates

Ive seen some interesting topics on here and people getting some really good advices, and honestly Im really in a need of suggestions, insights and advice at the moment. I would like to apologize in advance because I dont know how to make this long story a short one.
So the prologue is that almost 3 years ago I started dating this ex of mine. It still was an early relationship, maybe 2 months into everything when we broke up and I cant lie that looking from the present time the reason for breaking up is really hilarious - a girl I hooked up with at one party about a month before I met and started dating this ex showed up at the bar I was working at, she told me she was pregnant and that I was the father. Like what the hell. I clearly remember using a condom, but you know shit could have happened like it tore or smth. We were both intoxicated during the hook up, hence I couldnt have been 100% sure at that time when I heard the "happy news". After that followed break up with the ex of this story. That gonna-be-momma didnt want to consider an abortion and it took me some time to persuade her to do a dna parency test. It turned out the b**** was such a hoe that she herself didnt even know who the father might have been. By the time I knew the results the ex was already dating another dude and I thought oh well life still goes on. Little did I know that dude was just a rebound which turned into relationship lasting x4 times longer than ours did haha. I matched with her on tinder after she broke up with that dude. We started talking, seeing each other again but still things werent the same and, well, the whole relationship since then was very toxic. Mainly because I partially blamed myself for our break up, I thought I could fix everything and oh my god I tried to and I was so wrong. Everything led to ignoring all of her red flags and having no boundaries for her. It took some time until my patience ran out and I finally cut her out of my life for good. It was a few months before I ended everything that the current girl I will write about met this ex and they became besties. Funny thing is, only later I found out that to everyone whom my ex talked to she said that all of it was my fault.
Fast forward to august of 2021 when I went out with a couple of friends. The plan was to get wasted, hence I havent been to any bar for almost a year after I quit my job as a bartender and this whole covid situation hit the fan. We went to one of my friends favorite pub and I saw this bff of my ex working behind the bar. We both recognised each other. I went to say hi, we talked and laughed a little bit. After she finished her shift we went to another bar, chit chatted and I found out that she and this ex of mine are roommates now, but they werent besties anymore. During summer and tourist season the ex was away working in another city, totally the opposite end of our country compared to city we live in. We got comments and compliments from strangers about looking like a very nice couple. When we went outside to smoke a cig one dude even complimented us and said how jealous he was of me for having such a lady besides me, I replied with something like "nah dude shes just a bff of my ex" (haha nice cockblock for myself by myself) but to be honest thats how I really felt at that time. I wasnt interested in her romantically, sexually, or any other way. I just enjoyed her company, it somehow felt nice and good. For some reason our drunk asses thought it would be nice to go out sometime again and after a few days we did. It was the same as before - we just chit chatted, small talked, danced a little bit and drank a lot of drinks. But no hooking up. After that we stopped talking, kinda mutually ghosted each other I guess.
Some ~2months later she texted me herself and it led to texting each other ocasionally from time to time. We are both terrible texters and sometimes we take hours or even a day to reply. Finally I thought maybe it wouldnt be such a bad idea to ask her out for a cup of coffee, I said I wanted to show her a place where they make the best flat-white in the city, but the timing couldnt have been more bad, she said she had suffered a mental abuse the night before, couldnt stop shaking and had already made plans to see her closest friend for some emotional support. At that time I didnt know if that was really true, nor I wanted to pry on details or insisted to meet. Just asked her to let me know if something changed in her plans or if she would like to reschedule for another day and she replied with "okay, certainly". After a week she finally messaged me asking about my plans, if I would like to go grab some coffee. Okay. We met this last wednesday, tho the first thing in our plans appeared to be pharmacy, not coffee. Sure thing we got coffee after that and this time our conversations were more open, wholehearted and sincere. I started seeing her from completely different side, unlike the times we got wasted in august. Later in the evening she opened up and told me that an hour before we met she went to a therapist for the first time ever and the medicaments she bought were prescribed anti-depressants, because shes been in emotional bottom for a while now. I appreaciated and valued her honesty, been there done that, apart the therapist part, but nonetheless I get it how shitty it might have felt sometimes. Soon walking around town became a bit chilly, the weather was like 3°C, but neither of us wanted to go home and I suggested going to the bar I used to work at in the past, maybe ordering a glass of some mulled wine to warm up. A glass turned into 4, we continued to talk and holy shit we talked about a lot of things. I was really happy that we met and enjoyed the time we spent. The time flew and we didnt even notice how the place we were at started closing. Unexpectedly still neither of us wanted to go home, so we went to another place for some cocktails and shots. Our conversations continued. It was already 6am in the thursday morning when she offered to go and crash at her place. The reason I agreed to that was because I wanted to be sure she would get home safely and getting to university from her place the following morning would take me 15min, instead of an hour if compared to my place. I didnt think of it as anything more, nor I expected anything. Hell, I dont even know what she was thinking at that time. Plus she fell into bed with her clothes on, so that kinda made everything clear. I was just the big spoon and the whole time we slept I held her palm in mine, and thats the closest and most intimate we have been through the whole night. We texted each other the whole following day until she fell asleep, after that texts became as rare as they were before. Yesterday she texted first and from her text I got the idea she probably was going out with her friends, even tho we both agreed that maybe she should stop a little bit with the alcohol after she will start taking the anti-depressants. I asked her what she was doing and got left on seen for more than 24 hours now. Ufff
So the epilogue is that I think I started seeing her from a totally different angle, in other words there might be some feelings appearing. It feels like I only got to know a little part of her and there is still so much unknown, so much left to get to know. Shes a great listener and an amazing conversation carrier. Despite the emotional trauma and issues she mentioned she might be having, I feel like I want to be there not to "fix it all up", because, shit, I myself sometimes still have emotional downfalls too. I guess everyone has them, its normal and thats part of living. But nonetheless I feel like I would like to be with her, spectate and see her thrive and bloom again. At the same time I dont want to be pushy or anything like that, I am taking into consideration that she still lives in same appartment with that ex of mine. We talked about her a little, she said that something went downhill in their friendship in the beggining of summer and she doesnt really understand what the heck it was. She has got to know how toxic that person really is and doesnt want to deal with her anymore. The problem is that at the moment there are a few issues finding another place to live. So I can only wonder how she feels about us communicating at all in the first place. Heck, maybe she even thinks Im only talking to or using her to get back at my ex, even though after all the crap she has done and how she treats others, this ex person is a complete nothingness and a blank space to me now.
But uh what/when/how, I dont know, Im a little at a loss now. Not even sure if anyone will read all this scribble, but if, maybe someone has had similiar situations in their life, or from their experience - any advice, idea, suggestion would be kindly appreciated.
P.s. sorry if some of the sentences might not be making any sense, english isnt yet a native language in eastern europe. At least while I was scribbling this long ass litany this girl sent me a meme or cute animal video on instagram instead of replying to my previous message after more than 24 hours passed. Havent opened it yet, but well at least thats something eheheh
submitted by New-Avocado5881 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2021.11.28 22:49 TeeBird_11 Super swirly R-Pro Pig !! Brand new few factory scuffs.

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2021.11.28 22:49 heeyloserswhatsup 3 grand fire trines in natal chart. What does it mean???

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2021.11.28 22:49 Ripdone Any good Jojo fanfics?

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2021.11.28 22:49 Ryebear151 Lf: A non English ditto

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2021.11.28 22:49 tads73 Avery's business TV show is called Hot Box..

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2021.11.28 22:49 Estavonh Street video I made with my friends, all shot in Michigan

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2021.11.28 22:49 Embarrassed-Tension8 • [recruiting] PINEAPPLEXPRESS | required TH/8 | clan level 8 | social/war/push | independent |

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Photos: https://imgur.com/a/8N6ve0a
PCPartPicker Part List
Type Item Price
CPU AMD A6-6400K 3.9 GHz Dual-Core Processor -
CPU Cooler Zalman CNPS80F CPU Cooler $16.21 @ Amazon
Thermal Compound Arctic Silver 5 High-Density Polysynthetic Silver 3.5 g Thermal Paste $6.40 @ Amazon
Motherboard MSI A78M-E35 Micro ATX FM2+ Motherboard -
Storage Samsung 850 EVO-Series 120 GB 2.5" Solid State Drive -
Case Fractal Design Node 605 HTPC Case -
Power Supply Corsair CX 430 W 80+ Bronze Certified ATX Power Supply -
Custom Timetec Hynix IC 16GB Kit (2x8GB) DDR3 1600MHz PC3-12800 Non ECC Unbuffered 1.35V/1.5V CL11 2Rx8 Dual Rank 240 Pin UDIMM Desktop Memory Ram Module Upgrade (16GB Kit (2x8GB)) $59.17 @ Amazon
Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
Total $81.78
Generated by PCPartPicker 2021-11-28 20:05 EST-0500
I want $350 for this, shipping included. I WFH so I can literally ship it out the next day during lunch.

Additional Notes:
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2021.11.28 22:49 imAayushPatel Notion for Linux

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2021.11.28 22:49 Delta_Peanoots A collaborative effort from me and u/TheSpaghet204

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2021.11.28 22:49 MTA_R Teenage Mutant Ninja Ducks???? | Dark Deception: Chapter 3 - Playthrough (Part 1)

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2021.11.28 22:49 ThrowAway69420256 Which monitor mounts would you recommend for a dual monitor setup?

I'm trying to find something that isn't expensive, but lets me rotate my monitors in most directions (360?). I already have the stand from Vivo (The "STAND-V002" as they call it.), but again, I want something that is a little more "free" to rotate.
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2021.11.28 22:49 OneHorriblyEvilBitch Pretentious Moi? - Sense in Segments (2010) (Pretentious Moi?)

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